I can tuck mytits in my pants
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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