Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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