I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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