please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
