If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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