Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
