I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Drunk is not a location!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
