i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My dick has a subreddit
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
