i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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