My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
