I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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