Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
