Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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