you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
