i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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