he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
