I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
