I think my fart just growled at me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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