dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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