I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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