i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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