She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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