if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
