i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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