WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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