I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
