Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
