just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The beer is more important than you right now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
