Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the day after is always just damage control
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize