I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
