I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
