I just made out with a guy for $7.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
