I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
