My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
