I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
