My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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