I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
