Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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