Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
