Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
