tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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