You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
