If i come over, it means nothing
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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