i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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