so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
