I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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