In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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