What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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