Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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