If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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