I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sorry about my life...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
